The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management

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The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management

Enchanted Tiki Room Under New Management

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The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management replaced Tropical Serenade in the spring of 1998 with hosts Zazu from The Lion King and Iago from Aladdin. It was meant to "refresh" the world's oldest-running Audio-Animatronic show but the overlay was not the most popular among Disney fans due to the way it dismissed a historical attraction that Walt Disney was very involved in creating. The fountain in the middle of the room that had been used in the original show was converted for use by the Uh-Oa Tiki Goddess figure. Zazu and Iago figures were added near the bird emcees and a scorched Iago figure was added above the exit. Gilbert Gottfried reprised his Iago role from Aladdin but Zazu was voiced by Michael Gough. The voices of Wally Boag, Fulton Burley and Thurl Ravenscroft were reused but Pierre was voiced in this show by Jerry Orbach. Armelia McQueen was the voice of Uh-Oa.

In January of 2011, there was a fire in the attic of the attraction. The fire and the sprinklers that went off damaged one of the Iago Audio-Animatronic figures. Was it a curse from Uh-Oa? Disney didn't want to take any chances and reopened the attraction on August 15th, 2011 with the original show. The revived show contained edits to shorten the running time. The show is now titled Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room. The Uh-Oa figure was later installed in Trader Sam's Grog Grotto at the Polynesian Village Resort. If her namesake drink is ordered, the bartenders will chant her name just like in the show, which culminates with her figure on the wall lighting up and saying her famous line: "When you mess with Polynesia, the Tiki Gods will squeeze ya!".

PRESHOW

The new preshow featured Phil Hartman as the voice of Morris and Don Rickles as the voice of William. Just like the original preshow, it took place in an alcove behind a waterfall.

Morris: Hey, what’re you doing here, William?

William: What’re you doing here, Morris?

Morris: I just flew in from Hollywood. My client’s the new owner of this bird cage.

William: What? Are you cuckoo? My client’s the new owner. Disney gave me an exclusive.

Morris: Co-exclusive. Didn't you read your contract?

William: I gave it a bird’s eye glance.

Morris: And you call yourself a talent agent? I negotiated my tail feathers off for this deal.

William: Well, my client does not share credit. He’s a very big bird.

Morris: Your client is Big Bird?

William: Not Big Bird. A big bird, you bird brain!

Morris: Well, your dim little star is now half owner of the Enchanted Tiki Room with my superstar.

William: Think again, chickie babe.

Morris: Stop grousing! Just look at these paying customers waiting to get in.

William: Did you say “paying”?

Morris: As in money.

William: As in ten percent? Hey, who am I to go against the status "crow"?

(The sound of a gong is heard and a Cast Member tells the audience the doors will soon be opening “into a world of joyous song and island splendors”.)

William: Wait! Our clients are not here.

Morris: Maybe they hit traffic.

William: Don't say that.

Morris: Sorry. Anyway, babe, I've gotta fly this coop and migrate back to Hollywood. My birds’ll call your birds. We'll do lunch.

William: What’s the rush?

Morris: I'm about to sign Donald Duck.

William: Oh yeah? Big deal, you hockey puck! I've got the Mighty Ducks in the wings.

Morris: You do not.

William: Do too.

Morris: Do not.

William: Do too.

Morris: Not!

William: Too!

Morris: Not!

William: Too!

Morris: Not!

William: Too!

Morris: You don't. Come on.

William: Leave me alone.

Morris: Oh.

William: Do too!

Morris: Oh.

William: Yeah?

Morris: Oh come on, William.

William: Oh, not! Oh yeah?

Morris: Level with me. Put the bubble between the lines.

William: Go away! Go away! You annoy me! You are nothing! I'm going home!

The Main Show

(The Cast Member welcomes the audience and starts the show by “waking up” Jose.)

Jose: (Yawns) My siestas are getting shorter and shorter. Hey Michael, mi amigo, pay attention, it’s showtime!

Michael: So it is. Pierre, you rascal you, let’s put on the show!

Pierre: Mon ami, I am always ready to put on the show. As is my good friend, Fritz.

Fritz: Mein goodness, you're all staring at us! We better start the show rolling.

Michael: Wait, wait! We forgot to wake up the glee club.

(A whistle is heard and the music starts.)

Jose: Ole! Ole! It’s showtime!

Chorus:

In the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room.

All the birds sing words and the flowers croon.

In the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room.

Welcome to our tropical hideaway,

you lucky people you.

If we weren't in the show starting right away,

we'd be the audience, too.

(Iago’s perch drops down from the ceiling. He is holding a megaphone.)

Iago: Hey! Hey, stop the music! Are you listening to me? I said stop the music!

(The music stops like someone pulled out a plug and the birds stop singing.)

Iago: What is that? I'm gonna toss my crackers. (The birds gasp.) And these people below me, they ain’t gonna like that. Trust me.

Zazu: Iago!

Iago: Well, look what the cat dragged in, Zero!

Zazu: That’s Zazu. Be forewarned, Iago, you cannot toy with the Enchanted Tiki Room.

Iago: What’re you squawkin’ about?

Pierre: Pardon moi, monsieur Iago, but I am afraid that your friend is right.

Iago: He’s not my friend!

Zazu: Well!

Iago: Obviously, you birds don't know who we are. Don't you guys ever fly to the movies?

Jose: We don't get out much.

Pierre: Oui, oui. We are, uh, how do you say, attached to the place!

Iago: Well, don't get too attached, chumps! ‘Cause we're the new owners!

Jose, Michael, Pierre, Fritz: New owners?

Iago: That’s right. (Sound of thunder.) Now listen, you bird brains, if you're gonna keep your jobs, ya gotta get hip. I know all about it, see?

Iago:

‘Cause I'm a very famous movie star.

And all of Hollywood drops my name.

Who cares about Aladdin or Jafar?

I'm the one with all the looks and fame.

I got a million crackers in the bank.

And I plan to get a zillion more!

And you guys will all have me to thank.

When they're lining up at the door.

You are boring Tiki birds.

I'm a big cele-birdy.

That’s why I'm gonna go and change your show.

Ain’t it great to have a friend like me?

Jose: But señor, we've done the same show.

Fritz: Ya, since 1963.

Iago:

My, how time flies.

Get a life, you guys!

You're ancient history.

Can your tails do this? (He wiggles his tail.)

Can your wings do that? (He flaps his wings.)

Can you bad birds sing hip hop or rap?

Can ya rock and roll?

Well, listen here.

It’s a whole new world, so ya better get hip,

Or your audience will disappear.

Get your show biz magic lamp.

Rub me right, I'll set you free.

You've paid your dues, now you birds can't lose.

Ain’t it great to have a friend.

Great to have a friend.

You can't wait to have a friend.

Wait to have a friend.

You ain’t never had a friend like me!

Ain’t never had a friend like me!

Zazu: Iago, please! The Tiki gods can hear you.

Iago: If I hear one more word about those Tiki-tacky, Polynesian, pineapple-picking’, wood-for-brains, moron Tiki gods.

(There is a loud blast of thunder and the lights dim.)

Iago: Hey! Who turned out the lights?

Zazu: That would be the moron Tiki gods.

Pierre: Oui, oui. We are doomed. (Singing.) Doom is in the air.

Fritz: It’s good-bye, my friend Pierre.

Jose, Michael, Pierre, Fritz: It’s so hot! Hot! Hot!

Pierre: Farewell, mon ami, for the end is plain to see, ’cause it’s hot! Hot! Hot!

(Sound of thunder.)

Zazu: What, what was that?

Tiki gods: Uh-Oa, Uh-Oa, Uh-Oa, Oa, Oa! Uh-Oa, Uh-Oa, Uh-Oa, Oa, Oa! Uh-Oa!

(Uh-Oa emerges from the former fountain used in the center of the room.)

Jose, Michael, Pierre, Fritz: Uh-Oa! The Tiki Goddess of Disaster!

Uh-Oa: Who dares defame the Tiki gods!

Zazu: Uh, he did.

Iago: Oh, thank you very much, Zazu!

(The Tiki Gods continue to chant.)

Uh-Oa: Be careful, my fine feathered little friend! When ya mess with Polynesia, the Tiki gods will squeeze ya! (Singing.) You're messin’ with me, baby.

Tiki Chorus: Ain’t the thing to do.

Iago: Wait! Some of my best friends are Tiki gods!

Uh-Oa: You're stressing’ me, baby.

Tiki Chorus: Should've listened to Zazu.

Iago: Gee, look at the time. Gotta fly!

Uh-Oa: You can't fly away now, you're stuck!

Iago: I'm stuck!

Uh-Oa: I have cursed you for pushing your luck!

Tiki Chorus: Bye bye!

Uh-Oa:

It won't help to yell.

You are under my spell.

Look out, parrot!

You're a dead duck!

Iago: Aagh!

(Iago disappears with another blast of thunder.)

Uh-Oa: Aloha! (She laughs and returns under the fountain.)

Zazu: Iago? Uh, Iago?

Pierre: Excusez moi, Monsieur Zazu. It appears Monsieur Iago has flown the coop.

Zazu: Oh dear.

Pierre: Perhaps it would be best to let the Tiki gods have their say, n'est-ce pas?

Zazu: Right. And now, here they are, the pop idols of Polynesia. The one, the only, the Tiki gods!

(The statues and flowers begin to sing.)

Tiki Gods:

Shoo wop, shooby doo.

In the still of the night.

I held you, held you tight.

‘Cause I love, love you so.

Promise I'll never let you go.

In the still of the night.

(A rap beat starts.)

Tiki Gods:

The birdies in the trees.

Sing pretty harmonies.

We Tiki gods like a lot.

So let’s all sing like the birdies sing.

Tiki Goddesses: Tweet! Tweet!

Tiki Gods: Those chicks are hot!

Tiki Goddesses: Uh-huh.

Tiki Gods:

The boys in the back are called macaws.

And that’s because they always was.

Most little birdies will fly away.

But us Tiki Room birds are here every day.

(As the Tikis finish with their chant, Iago reappears above the exit door, scorched, with a crutch and bandages on his beak.)

Iago: Whoa, smokin’!

Jose, Michael, Pierre, Fritz, Zazu: Iago!

Iago: Ha ha! These gods were the greatest act I've ever heard! This place is gonna be a gold mine. No more worries!

Zazu: Well, where I come from, that’s called Hakuna Matata.

Iago: Hunky tuna tostada? What a stupid phrase! But that’s okay, my friend.

Zazu: Your friend?

Iago: That’s right. And now that we've got a smash show on our wings, let’s party!

Michael: Look! Here come the girls!

(The Bird Mobile Chorus descends from the ceiling.)

Bird Mobile Chorus:

Come on birdies, shake your feathers, do the conga.

No, we can't control ourselves any longer.

Get into the Tiki rhythm of a song-a.

This is where the Tiki birds all belong-a now.

Iago: Whoa, yeah, sing it, girls!

Jose: I wonder what happened to Rosita.

Zazu: Oh dear. I'm afraid I'm not familiar enough with this type of music to get down and get funky.

Iago: Just wing it, Zazzy boy!

Zazu:

Come on birdies, shake your feathers, do the conga.

No, you can't control yourselves any longer.

Get into the Tiki rhythm of the song-a.

Don't you fight it ’til you've tried it. Now go tweet, tweet, tweet!

Jose: Everybody, let’s fiesta!

All: Feel the rhythm of the beat.

Iago: Take it, Pierre baby!

Pierre: Miss Uh-Oa saved our show-a when she turned up the heat.

Bird Mobile Chorus: She turned up the heat.

Zazu: My friend Iago learned his lesson, and now he will be discreet.

Iago: Oh yeah? That’s what you think! Time is money. Everybody, on your feet!

All: Get on your feet!

Iago: You heard ’em. Stand up, everybody! Up, up, up!

Michael: And now, as long as you're all standing.

Jose: We have a wonderful magic trick for you.

Iago: A magic trick?

Fritz: Ja. Everybody! Face the door, and the trick is, we're gonna make you all disappear.

Iago: Ha ha! Now you birds are getting the idea.

All:

Goodbye.

Farewell.

Aloha.

Get on your feet.

It’s out the door, you go-ha.

On your feet.

Out the door.

Iago: Come on! Everybody out! Migrate, people! Migrate!

All:

Heigh-Ho.

It’s out the door you go.

We hope you all enjoyed the show,

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho.

Zazu: Bye bye now. Cheerio! You've been an impeccable audience.

Iago: Hey kid, that’s a real smart idea, walkin’ directly under a bird. Good thing you're wearing a hat.

All:

Heigh-Ho.

Just lift your feet and go.

We'll sing the songs, you march along.

Heigh-Ho, heigh-Ho.

Iago: Come on! Keep moving! You've had enough enchantment for one day.

Zazu: Bye bye now!

Iago: Hey lady, it wouldn't hurt you to walk a little faster! Boy, I'm tired! I think I'll head over to the Hall of Presidents and take a nap.

Zazu: Right! Off you go!

Fritz: Wonderbar! Wonderbar!

Jose: No one laid an egg but me.

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